why the world race?

i was sixteen when i was found by the sweet embrace of Jesus Christ. He used a life long friend named nicole, a strong, lovely friend to guide me in her confidence and serenity and bring me to church. from there He carried me sweetly, bringing this scared girl into the fresh promise of new beginnings. He started healing the hurt and pain that years of being lost had caused. 

He introduced me to guiding stars- women like melissa bradley and leslie williamson, mothers who opened my eyes to the world of serving others, especially children. He helped me find my place in a new, different kind of home. a home i didn’t know by a street address but by a name: southern hills. He walked with me as i finished high school, never once wavering in His step as i hesitated, doubled back, and stood aimlessly at crossroads. i couldn’t see it but He was leading me down a path that was set out perfectly. His orchestration led me to a new community called ccf, not long after i turned eighteen. coming into this community was like finding my faith for the first time again. i felt sixteen in this wonderful, new way. i’d never had a large number of friends growing up, but suddenly i had more than i could count, all loving and kind. i could see the Lord moving in them so, so clearly, and i still stand back in awe to watch it today. 

and it all began with a girl named katie. she shared the same name as my sweet older sister, but this katie held the title of sister in a different way. not by our blood but by His. she saw a timid and terrified girl standing at the sign in table, and the Lord pushed together one of the most wonderful friendships i’ve ever experienced. we sat on the front row, asking the usual questions, including one that every 18-25 year old gets asked: what’s your major? this little overused question was about to have a big impact on my heart. katie told me that she didn’t attend college, as she had gotten back from a mission trip a few months before. she called it the world race. i’d never heard of it. 

though i would soon have heard many a tale of katie’s experiences. we talked about missions until the worship started, and my heart warmed to see people worshiping unashamedly, especially katie, who i saw on her knees, arms open wide to the Father. it struck me that this community was going to change my life, and i had no idea how true that was. 

katie introduced me to an immeasurable amount of people, and by the end i didn’t remember any of their names, but i was so happy to be there. that was a thursday, and by sunday evening katie asked to disciple me, a concept i was completely new to. the Lord placed all these beautiful new souls into my life. and the Lord used these new friends to completely redefine my relationship with Him. i‘d had NO idea that i could have such a close intimate relationship with the Father, but as i looked around me i saw His relationship with others, and i realized it could be so much more.

katie helped me learn how to talk with the Father, how to hear His voice and discern it. larissa in her absolute beauty taught me to receive the Lords heart and put it onto paper in splashes of watercolor. blythe in her joyous spontaneity thought me to see the Lord in the earth, in color, and the importance of a car trip with a friend. kat in her sweet gentleness taught me how to see the Father in my home, in my parents. kari with her contagious laugh taught me how to see Jesus in the silly conversations at waffle house in the early hours of the morning. and ronda, one of our ccf leaders, in her loving motherliness taught me that my past doesn’t define me, what true hope is, and what it means to be made pure by the blood of Christ. each of my friends taught me something new,  and each was just as profound as the next. i connected with all of them, and if you’re from ccf and you’re reading this, know that even if i haven’t listed you so far, you’ve impacted my heart and given me so much joy. 

and all the time, the Father was giving me these sweet gifts i was honored to call friends, He was preparing me. He was preparing me for this one night. a thursday night at ccf. i remember worshiping so freely that night, and it’s so sweet to think that i had no idea what was coming. after the sermon and worship and announcements, a man named matt came up to the front. katie, who was sitting next to me, told me she knew him from the world race. when he spoke of the race it was almost a challenge. it almost stirred something in me, but i thought ‘well that’s cool, but i could never do it with college’. and there it was. the clear voice of the Father: ‘I will provide.’ of course i thought ‘awe well that’s nice to know, but i’m not going so’ bahahaha, that’s hilarious, right? because spoiler alert, what website are we on? so as we know this isn’t the end. right after we were dismissed anaya comes rushing up to katie. i didn’t know anaya very well at the time, but i would soon find she is the most courageous, spunky, and free lover of Christ, and the Father would bond us through shared experiences more than we could ever imagine. katie was immediately excited and led her to the lobby to meet with the three guys from the world race. and i followed. in my mind i was just following katie around, but the Father smiled because He knew there were far bigger reasons. i listened to anaya speak of her passion for the Lord’s plans, but i didn’t really participate in the conversation. when the lobby closed we were all ushered outside, and i ended up walking next to the one of the guys. his name is nathan, and the Father used him in such a sweet way. we ended up walking beside each other, and out of a polite start to a conversation and to satisfy a little curiosity that popped up during anaya’s conversation with them, i asked: ‘do you work with kids on the race?’ 

that was all it took. an hour later we were still talking. we talked about his experience on the race, my love and passion for kids, the gravity of growing up in one town and suddenly leaving for nine months to explore 3 different countries, the heartache of leaving family and friends, and how the yearning for the Father’s master plan outweighed it all. midway through the conversation i realized suddenly that i was talking to him like i wanted to go. and a strike of fear flashed through my heart because what if i did? could i leave my family? my community? i’d never lived outside of carroll county, how could i live half way across the world? 

but there was something else there. that girl that had lived inside me for my whole life, the one that wanted more. more than the same town and the same restaurants and the same scenery flashing past car windows. the girl who wanted a grand adventure, and constantly searched for it in books and movies and was never satisfied because the Lord had this one perfect adventure waiting for her and suddenly it was here and she felt so relieved and excited she couldn’t breathe. but she was quiet, because i wasn’t sure yet. did the Father want me to go?

He wouldn’t answer this question until sunday evening. katie and lincoln- another sweet gift from the Father, gifted to katie and brought into my life through her- came over to nathan and i, inviting me to go get food with them. the conversation was closing, so i agreed, and nathan asked to pray over me. so the four of us huddled together, and nathan prayed, and with the new prospect of this adventure being in Gods plan for me swimming in my mind, his kind, powerful prayer made me tear up. but as his came to a close, katie picked it right up, admitting she had no idea what our conversation had held, but she was excited anyway, and her prayer made a few tears slip by. i knew if lincoln started praying i’d lose all control of my emotions, as we really weren’t very close, so when he picked up where katie left off, i just cried, overwhelmed with the love that the Father was pouring out to me through them. it was the sweetest prayer i’ve ever experienced, and my heart cherishes it, and i’m sure will forever. 

the rest of my weekend was busy and nothing particularly profound happened, though the race stayed in the back of my mind. and then sunday evening rolled around. i realized i didn’t know when i could potentially be going on the race, so i went to their website, and my stomach lurched as i read that i’d be leaving in september, at the time only seven months away. i decided i needed a soothing bath. i went to my room, grabbed my bible and went and sat in the bathroom, and i prayed. i told the Father, ‘if you want me to do this you have to give me a clear sign,’ i was nervous. i needed clarity. and the Father delivered. i opened my bible to a random page, a practice i’d done often in the past weeks. i asked Him to give me a sign. and with my heart beating out of my chest, i read the first words my eyes landed on:

Jeremiah 22:1. ‘And thus the Lord says: Go’

up until that moment i was afraid that as soon as i got an answer from the Father i would be devastated. i was scared that if He said yes my heart would sink. but as that moment came my heart soared. i spent the next two hours sitting on the bathroom floor with the Father, laughing with Him, weeping tears of joy with Him. He stayed with me, giving me all the time i needed to grasp what He was asking me to do. He was closer than i‘d ever felt Him, speaking more clearly than i’d ever heard Him speak. for the first time in my life i felt true purpose. i was sure i’d never felt so happy in my entire life, i was anointed with the oil of joy. 

that night, i told my mom and two of my childhood best friends, emma and sonya- some of my sweetest supporters from the beginning, too bright souls who remind me everyday what it is to be a kind friend- a best friend. the next day, i started my application.

 because who am i to deny this wonderful blessing that the Father has gifted me?